11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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