I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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