you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize