the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
