he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
