you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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