He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
third nipple confirmed
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize