they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
