I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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