you're like a bully in the Christmas story
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
