At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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