Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
