Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
