Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
