I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
We're too hungover to prance.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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