I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize