Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Randomize
