just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
it was like his penis was on wheels.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
