You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
