There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Randomize
