Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
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