I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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