Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
tell me about the eggs
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
