Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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