Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Randomize
