you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
it's great music for shaving your balls
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Randomize
