Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
