the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
