What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
