no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize