You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize