He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize