The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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