i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I have post one night stand depression
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