You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize