You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
