tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
