Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
