I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Just pee around me
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
