He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
