I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
