Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
