Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
