Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
