Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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