Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
