dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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