The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
