I'm so fucking centered right now
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
