i think i have two assholes
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
