when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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