Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
