at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
