Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
