i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
