...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
