my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Randomize
