It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize