Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
