Swine flu. Run for my life!
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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