You really coming over, don't trick.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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