I wish they made helmets for livers.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
